I’ve been reading around a lot recently, and stumbled across a few posts from women who had written letters to their body. I quite like the idea really and thought it would be quite a positive and insightful thing to read (and do). What I found was not what I initially thought I would find. Some were positive, saying thank you and being grateful for their bodies but some included quite derogative and hurtful comments, such as
‘Why do you have to be so fat?’
‘Why don’t I look like Kate Moss?’
‘Why is my metabolism so slow?’
Now, I know that I don’t have a fantastic relationship with my body but I certainly don’t think like this. I am actually taken aback that women would go as far to write things like this when really we should be praising the one thing that allows us to live? It’s actually made me wonder whether I have a better relationship with my body than most others (which sounds completely ridiculous given the circumstances). So, here is my attempt at this..
Well, where do we start?
It’s been a tough few years but I guess I’ll get straight to the point and say thank you. Thank you for the first few years of being overfed and under exercised. You managed to survive to late night food feasts, double helpings of dinner and pudding, and thousands of sugary treats. You didn’t develop a physical illness and you carried on regardless.
Secondly thank you for then managing to cope with the opposing extreme of being under nourished and overworked. I have no idea how, but you managed to get me into University, continue my part time job and perform in musicals twice a year. Thank you for coping with all of my destructive coping mechanisms, the endless cross trainer sessions and self harm. You didn’t deserve any of that, yet you still kept going in hope that one day I would change. Thank you for putting up with all of my stupid behaviours that were slowly destroying and damaging you.
I know you’re not perfect. You wobble a bit and have a few scars but you know what, they all carry some form of meaning that shows me that I have survived many things; overcome many hurdles and challenges. Therefore, I would not change them because that makes me who I am.
It does not matter that you don’t look like a super model because you know what? When you smile, it fills a room, and that is far more attractive than any shape or size. And ultimately, that’s all I want for you. H.A.P.P.I.N.E.S.S.
My aim is to make you happy without causing myself any anxiety. I aim to nourish you correctly, treat you in moderation and exercise you for fun and strength, not because I feel I have to or it’s what’s expected.
I hope that one day, looking after you is done without a second thought, but until then thank you for being strong and sticking with me. It’s safe to say, you’re awesome.